Moving in Crooked Lines

It's funny how I'm finding some time to sit and breathe this morning.  Like almost an absurd weight has been lifted from me.  I like talking about color.  I listening to people talk about color.  Yesterday was full of color and I'm realizing that each day has been a preparation of the day after.  

I've been relocated to another group and as much as there have been melancholy ponderings and subtle sighs of discontent I have begun to accept that where I am is no longer where I can make a difference.  God moves in mysterious ways and ironically He brings me to a place where I never knew I really wanted to be.

In the middle of machines that produce color and transforms blank paper sheets into images that talk and speak of color and words.  Society likes color.  Absence of it is excruciating boredom that makes people restless in wanting their dreams fulfilled.  I have been restless for too long and waiting for answers for too long.  Fighting battles I can never win.  

But I move forward ever so slightly.  Even a millimeter matters.  Even if I just move forward with my toe and not my foot.  This time, I've moved.  And I'm learning.  That even if I move in crooked lines as long as I have my sight on one direction, I'll get there.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Art and Business

Letting myself unwind for the past couple of hours after an intense dialogue with executives on business strategy and leadership philosophies.  I ran into this video.  Aside from faith, what motivates me is my passion for art or any related artistic experience.  Finding a relationship between deepening my faith and learning about how artistic experiences can help this deepening process has been an ongoing pursuit for me since I graduated from business school.   I've realized how art can help me become more grounded and reflective in anything I do which translates to almost a prayerful experience.  This helps me understand why faith is needed in pursuing any experience and in understanding the aspects that strengthen faith, I am able to keep up with my perseverance of pursuing any experience.  An elective I took up in business school called "Self-Mastery and the Arts" has convinced me how important the impact of art is in one's life.  In that study, I...
Read more

Anxious No More

Image
There are many interesting things that have been happening to me these past 3 weeks. It's been a journey out of and into another chapter of my life.  And this chapter is the chapter that makes me face that thing I want to do the most.   Write.   The stories on this page have been slow because I've been trying to discover what it is that I want to really write about and when I ask myself this question, I begin to ask myself the most important question: what am I really about?  It doesn't feel so difficult to ask now compared to before.  I'd squirm and I'd let my gaze wander off into a blank wall or I'd stiffen up and change the subject because I don't really want to dig in too deep and ask myself that because I fear the answer to that question.  I fear having to say it out loud.  I fear having to type it out here.   What am I really about?  I don't really know.   I don't really have it all figured out just yet.  It'...
Read more

Lectio Divina | A Reflection on Yehuda Amichai's "The Amen Stone"

Image
It took me a week to finally choose a poem I resonated with among the six poems I was assigned to reflect on through the ancient practice of sacred reading called  lectio divina .  The experience of being in a writing course (albeit online) has given me the liberation to explore the power of words and unearth the gift I know I've long locked within.  The gift of realizing I have the same power as well. My writing process was a painful unraveling.  I could not write immediately.  I could not catch the thought and pin it down on paper.  I tried reading other books that would get the flow of creativity going and to no avail the anxiety caught on and forced me to take a break.  So I did.  And went back on it again this weekend.  I had to recalibrate my mind for 2 hours.  Removing the residue of the business mind that forces me to constrict my definitions of life in a less human sounding voice.  I began my  meditatio  o...
Read more