i write to believe.

from adi's album: traces in spaces I just find myself reflecting on this photo this morning.  It's from one of Adi's albums .  One of my favorites I'd say.  I've been staring at it and looking at the misty windows.  The notes posted on the walls with hand torn masking tapes.  The ball of yarn forgotten in the corner.  The collecting dust on the sill.  She easily notices things like that and oftentimes draws her into a quiet place of her own.  Something I never really quite understood but have slowly begun to appreciate.  During the past 3 years of her stay in London we've been keeping in touch and I've learned about her life through these photographs and occasionally her handwritten journals scanned for posterity on this pag e.   I've often wondered why I have gravitated so much to her way of life and behind closed doors I always realize that it is because there's not much of this kind of rhythm in mine. I don't know what this ...

Thinking about visio divina and how weak I am with contemplation these days.  I stumble upon this great read from Image Journal's link in their Facebook Page.  It's an essay by Makoto Fujimura entitled Letter to Young Artists.  Akin to Rilke's Letter to Young Poets, Fujimura drives home the point.   Have you ever felt awkward, and felt the “lumps”? If you are an artist, perhaps you began your journey realizing that you are different from others. We have gotten used to having these “lumps” and accepted the fact that to the world the “lumps” looks strange and unnatural. Your teachers and your friends may not fully understand your intuition to try to fly with your winged “lumps.” What started out, at first, as trying to be yourself, may have become an effort to shield and protect your true identity from the world. Perhaps rebellion became the only path you could journey on. Your “lumps” became a defense mechanism, or even a weapon. What if Lewis is right, and you are ...

Clicking the shutter and pointing the camera at people and random moments in the office last Friday was liberating.  I have always wanted to  do it but was just to conscious to let that part of me loose.  I was afraid people would find it too weird or too eccentric.  And when they do, I'll end up having an even harder time. So I've been quite careful about my artistic inclinations at work until last Friday. Dressing up as a Native American Indian gave me the perfect excuse to click away.  Being engaged in the project of SNS Challenger as helped me approach photography a little bit more reflectively.  It reminded me why I started looking through the lens in the first place.  Gary Mcleod says it more articulately  I am not a photographer. By this, I mean that I am not a technician who is trying to help recreate someone else’s vision. I have an understanding of my own vision- and this may sound like arrogance- but this understanding has come from s...

I'm not sure if I had enough space in my mind to think of anything related to literature this week.  My mind is as tight as a knot again.  And this usually happens to be the case when I'm engaged in such a rigorous activity of brainstorming for work.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm happy about it.  It's just that it was such a tiring event to pull everybody through.  I didn't imagine it to be that hard when I was in business school.  Getting people to brainstorm is a feat.  Getting people to talk about what they have brainstorm is another. Getting people to write about what they brainstorm is a miracle. Such are the hurdles I face as a young HR leader.  Sometimes I feel like I'm 50 years old at this rate.  I need to stay young.  I need to wade a little bit in the pleasantries of life.  More soaking into beautiful stories of inspiration.  More of seeing with new eyes. I have really nothing much to say this morning because I'm n...

Yesterday I discovered Andy Goldsworthy's work. He's amazing. I immediately thought, "I want to be like him!" Sculpture entered my mind yesterday because I was thinking of wanting to do something tactile aside from discovering my writer's voice. But I didn't want anything too complicated such that it required too many tools or other processes that required installation or electricity. I was thinking of junk art and sifted through some Youtube videos about this medium. However I'm no engineer and I'm not sure I can even think of anything relevant using junk right now. But I had an interesting time reading about Found Art and how it was started in the early 20th century by Marcel Duchamp. All this, it needs to be noted, has come from what I have absorbed during nightmorn conversations with Adi for the past 2 years. The absence of time and opportunity to study art has been compensated by keeping in touch with her all this time and taking in he...

"Oh c'mon not another template again!" I find myself screaming to my head when I saw the email in my inbox about another balanced scorecard template. When will this ever end? Last week I saw another one that had weights on the four aspects of the scorecard and I remember thinking, "Why on earth are we going to put weights on them? What is the purpose of calling them balanced if one aspect is more important than the other?" All we do is tip-toe around directions such as this. And I for the life of me do not understand the fear that overcomes our employees when they feel the urge to voice out their thoughts about situations that do not make sense such as now. But I am choosing my battles and I need a job. And there are plenty of other warriors in the field that have not put in their two scents. So this afternoon, I have chosen to look at Adi's blog and found it quite a breather to read something very affirming. Her blogs are almost a month late becau...

The whole introspective and creative process is not complete without spiritual illumination. The act of "listening to the work" arises from the openness of a soul to receive the soft promptings of the Spirit. I find myself resonating with Rachel's post of late as she gathers archives of her own spiritual journey in 2008. How incidental, I posted a comment on her page that I was doing the same thing just last weekend. Sifting through my writings hidden and in public. Turning pages of old journals and understanding myself a little bit better. Allowing myself to sit through the process of God creating and transforming me in these circumstances. She writes, In this season--despite the "not-knowing," the pain, the fear, and the frustration--I can be grateful for so much. I am the daughter of the Creator of the universe, who guides my life with tenderness and compassion. In a way that I will never completely understand, He loves me. Yes, He loves me, despite th...

I captured these series of screen shots this morning while in a nightmorn conversation cross-continental. London, 12mn. Manila, 8am. I used to take a lot of these screenshots when Adi moved to London 2 years ago. Similar to screenshots I took when Toni studied in Vienna for student exchange during our MBA year. Parallelism, I surmise is God's way of driving home a point. He says, I am bigger than the proximity of your relationships. Even those you hold dear to your heart. It was quite an intense conversation this morning similar to last Sunday's. A discovery on the meaning of ceramics and its creative processes sends us to a rush of illuminated insights about our purpose and our art. adrienne: it was good annie talked to me cos in the morning before school, i was telling her about how i'm quite torn between fine art and 3d like i'm not the "design" vibe of 3D but i also dont want to just paint the rest of my education and i asked her if it was possi...

I can feel my voice shifting sound from inside me. Earlier this last week it was pulsating with energy as if I were trying to knock a wall down with my words. And now I find it quieting down as if trying to inhale the series of circumstances these past few days and find a comfortable way to sit with them. I have been busy learning about social entrepreneurship. A buzzword that I've recently started to understand in my efforts to put a little bit of form and structure to this calling I feel I am finally responding to. Yesterday was a marathon. The desire for knowledge flowed and I just kept on collecting and gathering all the information I found. I'm glad there is Google Wave to deposit all these things to. I like the application very much because it is easy to navigate and build discussions on the things I have found. I am slowly beginning to realize that there may be a bit of sense to the chronology of my life. I had to study in business school for a reason. And this...

Spent another 3 hours discussing the possible roll out of the art foundation. There seems to be a different tone in the discussion now compared to how it was 2 years ago. It feels a little bit more real. The inputs given are more well thought of compared to the burst of creative impulses and pent up yearnings. So I have spent almost an hour reading through Artist of Humanity's program page and am already getting quite a lot of information on how to set up the foundation I want here in my own country. It's almost just like knowledge transfer except I do not have much experience in implementing anything large scale such as this. What has gotten into me and why do I really think that this is a good idea? It's no different from what I'm doing now. Huddled with young people around the round table at our backyard. Spilling our guts about what we want to do with our lives and the passions we want to pursue. I fund most of these huddles. Nothing fancy. Pizza. McDon...

I am up early updating Facebook discussions about this art foundation idea and quite enthralled really by the articles I have been reading about Artists for Humanity. Susan Rodgerson hits the nail on the head. I have almost the same vision as hers except I am coming from a different angle. In one article she says, "I wanted to use my love of working with youth to empower them through the same process that had empowered me." It's amazing how resonating with somebody can do for your own liberation. Anyway, I have posted on that FB discussion a response to Rodgerson's viewpoint saying, "I was disempowered from a process I knew empowered me. I want to reclaim this empowerment because I know what it feels like to live without it and protect this empowerment that I knew inherently belongs to young people at a stage where they are at their peak in creative development." The impulse to create again comes alive in this very small unearthing of possibilities provi...

I'm picking up momentum by looking through models of these art foundations that I know already exist around the world. But so far I have not seen a model quite like Artists for Humanity that captures exactly what I feel is an unattended need in my own country. Seldom does the need for art get recognized. Intangible things like this always end up in the back burner. Things that move society like art, philosophy, faith are dealt with in a passive way compared to economics, investment, or business outsourcing. But there seems to be a new uprising of corporate social responsibility initiatives in the area of environmental management. Talks on sustainability and development are slowly being heard because of the extreme experiences of climate change. Could there be some kind of awakening? A different kind of renaissance? I would like to think so. In the attempt to slow my mind down and get ready to hit the sack I think about this talk by Susan Rodgerson. I let it sink in. Reso...

via takethesun It didn't feel like I got home early tonight. No. But I really did get home at 7pm and was supposed to dive into reading my new books. I was delighted to see Jack Kerouac's Windblown World on the outer shelf of Powerbooks when I dropped by after work. But I ended up talking to Jarro about the art foundation. Sooner or later I'm going to have to face my thoughts about this dream that has been gestating inside me for the longest time. For now, here's a bit of a preview. I am captivated by the idea of providing opportunities to young people who are not financially capable to reach their dreams of producing and creating art. Not financially capable to study in an art school. Not supported by their parents in pursuing education to perfect their craft. Not guided by their parents in reaching for their dreams. I want to help them find their way. Because I think we need more artists who can make sense and find the cosmos in the chaos of this world.