i write to believe.

on afternoon like this one A journal repost from April 5, 2005. I remember reading this in a new age book several years ago.  I used to be into new age thinking.  It was liberating for a while.  But I realized that there is nothing more liberating that rooting all beliefs in Christ.  But tonight I happen to remember this line because...simply because it's true. I was at mass today.  Not feeling too well.  Tired from everything that's going on inside me.  I couldn't pay real attention even if I tried.  So I didn't try.  I just came as I am.  Spent.  Weary.  And it happened... This Cebuano priest started his homily.  He usually doesn't take my attention because I have a hard time understanding him (no offense, I'm Cebuano myself).  But for some reason he started off with ..."We all run away from something..."   And I straightened my back and looked at the pulpit and listened. We all run away from s...

Morning conversations with Adi about yesterday's Intercessory gathering allows me to breathe and affirm the spiritual movements happening in my life as of late.   I'm telling myself to succumb to this.  I have long resisted going in depth into writing about my spiritual experiences because it feels like it does not "cater" to a majority.  I didn't want my writing to just be perceived as a religious effort at conversion.  No.  This is not what it is about.   It is about walking a path that I have stumbled upon in the middle of life's complexities and how this path, the path of faith and the writing craft (art) has been helping me come to terms with everyday challenges and difficulties.  And so I continue and discover that as I capture the words the emerge inside my mind, I am actually unraveling a mystery. We were late for the gathering but it seemed as if we arrived on time for the actual intercession and prayer. They asked me if I can play some son...

The whole introspective and creative process is not complete without spiritual illumination. The act of "listening to the work" arises from the openness of a soul to receive the soft promptings of the Spirit. I find myself resonating with Rachel's post of late as she gathers archives of her own spiritual journey in 2008. How incidental, I posted a comment on her page that I was doing the same thing just last weekend. Sifting through my writings hidden and in public. Turning pages of old journals and understanding myself a little bit better. Allowing myself to sit through the process of God creating and transforming me in these circumstances. She writes, In this season--despite the "not-knowing," the pain, the fear, and the frustration--I can be grateful for so much. I am the daughter of the Creator of the universe, who guides my life with tenderness and compassion. In a way that I will never completely understand, He loves me. Yes, He loves me, despite th...