i write to believe.

I stumbled upon the tumblr of Youth Catechism this morning via a Tweet that surfaced on my feed.  I love the fact that the church is working on being more in touch with the young people of today.  Speaking their language.  Learning their culture.   Suddenly, all the busy days at work are no comparison to the fulfillment of a youth ministry that is alive with a purpose.  I hope I find that today.

It is a matter of great importance that I come to know the Savior's love completely.  I realized that the anxiety I am not able to overcome is because of the lack of knowing His love.  I tread this crooked road with small and weak steps.  Bombarded by everyday tumult.  The chaos of decisions and the paradox of choices remain such a prison.   I am like this pendulum swinging back and forth.  Loving the work.  Hating the work.  Enlightened and one point.  Distressed in another.  Forgive my inconsistencies.  I am only trying to figure myself out.  And for this I realize that I find it such a great ordeal to write because I am not able to get a complete hold of what I need to write about.   It is Halloween and I'm supposed to get ready to go to a meeting at 9am.  We're having breakfast in Pancake house to meet about a possible sustainable fundraiser for the youth ministry.  Yesterday it was a meeting with t...

This morning a friend showed me another person's words that fell on my heart and broke it.   I spent the past week sorting out this part of me and that part of me and I wonder what part of me remains put together from the parts of me that lives fragmented.  It's painful and beautiful.  It's barren and pregnant.  I move to and fro and I move without knowing because if I rest at one place trying to figure out where and what I'm moving towards, I'm afraid I'll stop and I won't have enough courage to hold on to a pen.   This past week I experienced quite a lot of things different from how I would experience a week at work. From conversations on machines and problems that affected how a person can remain productive throughout a day to thinking about a cafe's interior and what kind of food to serve and actually tasting it in an unexpected lunch treat.  To three hours of exchanging thoughts on how a culinary experience can be engaging and creative.   ...

It has taken me two weeks to regain the balance and find my way back to this page reflecting on quiet things.  I've done a lot of writing about work.  I've scratched the surface of snippets of thoughts and drawing board ideas of what I would like to muse about.  But I haven't gotten back to this page to write about what I would like to believe in.   Today this writer encourages me to take a look into it again.   Mary DeMuth's article stopped me on my tracks.  I'm supposed to watch my favorite TV series as of the moment but I decided to put it off and think about her words.   You're probably called to write if: People tell you they are changed or challenged by reading your words. Professionals in the writing industry (agents, editors, publishers) have commented on your writing in a very positive way.  You weather criticism about your work with grace and are determined to always write better. You are passionate about the writing cr...

I find some time to reflect on spiritual things this morning after struggling with a lot of anxieties the past few weeks.  It flows on and off.  The spiritual enlightenment of being in the rapture of the heavenly hosts for a brief moment while you're driving to work in the morning becomes the most longed for moment in my life.   I haven't been able to get a lot of it and still I continue to sort myself out.  It's a very messy process but I write today in response to a blog that I just came across this morning .  Kirby Llaban is a lay missionary for Couples for Christ and he wrote something yesterday that struck me straight away.   He said: Do you have a big idea? How long then will it take you to make a prototype or organize a sample group? Do you plan on writing a book? When will you start making the first chapter of that book and let your friends give a feedback? Do you want to write a song? Then write down the first line and hum the first...