It is a matter of great importance that I come to know the Savior's love completely.  I realized that the anxiety I am not able to overcome is because of the lack of knowing His love.  I tread this crooked road with small and weak steps.  Bombarded by everyday tumult.  The chaos of decisions and the paradox of choices remain such a prison.  

I am like this pendulum swinging back and forth.  Loving the work.  Hating the work.  Enlightened and one point.  Distressed in another.  Forgive my inconsistencies.  I am only trying to figure myself out.  And for this I realize that I find it such a great ordeal to write because I am not able to get a complete hold of what I need to write about.  

It is Halloween and I'm supposed to get ready to go to a meeting at 9am.  We're having breakfast in Pancake house to meet about a possible sustainable fundraiser for the youth ministry.  Yesterday it was a meeting with the boss' wife about her cafe.  My life is filled with meetings that I'm afraid are not as productive as always.  But it is service.  


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