It is a matter of great importance that I come to know the Savior's love completely. I realized that the anxiety I am not able to overcome is because of the lack of knowing His love. I tread this crooked road with small and weak steps. Bombarded by everyday tumult. The chaos of decisions and the paradox of choices remain such a prison.
I am like this pendulum swinging back and forth. Loving the work. Hating the work. Enlightened and one point. Distressed in another. Forgive my inconsistencies. I am only trying to figure myself out. And for this I realize that I find it such a great ordeal to write because I am not able to get a complete hold of what I need to write about.
It is Halloween and I'm supposed to get ready to go to a meeting at 9am. We're having breakfast in Pancake house to meet about a possible sustainable fundraiser for the youth ministry. Yesterday it was a meeting with the boss' wife about her cafe. My life is filled with meetings that I'm afraid are not as productive as always. But it is service.