Notes to Myself

Sometimes I wonder why it's difficult for me to write about specific things.  It seems that I would rather write about general things and stay on the surface of what I write.  I envy writers who are able to write  with so much detail and freedom.  I inhibit myself like there is always something wrong with what I'm about to say.

There are times that I do feel like writing with abandon.  And in those moments I am graced with just the perfect rhythm.  I begin to see everything as it is and I am comfortable with everything.  I become comfortable with my chair and my desk.  The lamp dimly lit on my table.  The electric fan buzzing by the side.  The silence in my room.  The mosquito fluttering infront of my nose.  The queasiness of my stomach while I wait for dinner.  The pile of reports that are due tomorrow.  The nagging of issues that remain unresolved at work.  Those times are perfect and I wish I had more of them.

Today I was grateful for the morning drive.  It was perfect.  I wasn't in a hurry to get to work.  A blessed preaching on my iPod filled me with rest and ease.  The thoughts that cluttered my mind the day before were put to a quiet and I realized again how important it is to keep renewing my mind to the promises filled with hope.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Art and Business

Letting myself unwind for the past couple of hours after an intense dialogue with executives on business strategy and leadership philosophies.  I ran into this video.  Aside from faith, what motivates me is my passion for art or any related artistic experience.  Finding a relationship between deepening my faith and learning about how artistic experiences can help this deepening process has been an ongoing pursuit for me since I graduated from business school.   I've realized how art can help me become more grounded and reflective in anything I do which translates to almost a prayerful experience.  This helps me understand why faith is needed in pursuing any experience and in understanding the aspects that strengthen faith, I am able to keep up with my perseverance of pursuing any experience.  An elective I took up in business school called "Self-Mastery and the Arts" has convinced me how important the impact of art is in one's life.  In that study, I...
Read more

Anxious No More

Image
There are many interesting things that have been happening to me these past 3 weeks. It's been a journey out of and into another chapter of my life.  And this chapter is the chapter that makes me face that thing I want to do the most.   Write.   The stories on this page have been slow because I've been trying to discover what it is that I want to really write about and when I ask myself this question, I begin to ask myself the most important question: what am I really about?  It doesn't feel so difficult to ask now compared to before.  I'd squirm and I'd let my gaze wander off into a blank wall or I'd stiffen up and change the subject because I don't really want to dig in too deep and ask myself that because I fear the answer to that question.  I fear having to say it out loud.  I fear having to type it out here.   What am I really about?  I don't really know.   I don't really have it all figured out just yet.  It'...
Read more

Lectio Divina | A Reflection on Yehuda Amichai's "The Amen Stone"

Image
It took me a week to finally choose a poem I resonated with among the six poems I was assigned to reflect on through the ancient practice of sacred reading called  lectio divina .  The experience of being in a writing course (albeit online) has given me the liberation to explore the power of words and unearth the gift I know I've long locked within.  The gift of realizing I have the same power as well. My writing process was a painful unraveling.  I could not write immediately.  I could not catch the thought and pin it down on paper.  I tried reading other books that would get the flow of creativity going and to no avail the anxiety caught on and forced me to take a break.  So I did.  And went back on it again this weekend.  I had to recalibrate my mind for 2 hours.  Removing the residue of the business mind that forces me to constrict my definitions of life in a less human sounding voice.  I began my  meditatio  o...
Read more