Somewhere In The Middle
Today was about carefully treading through sacred spaces. I would say that I haven't been consistently in touch with my prayer life as much as I used to over the past 3 months because there was that point wherein I thought, I was praying too much. It made me start bordering on self-righteousness and I realized that it started to frustrate me. Shouldn't prayer be a peaceful moment or at the very least a moment that makes you find some sort of illumination from the divine?
I'm trying to talk about faith in layman's terms because I have this tendency to dig in too deep and I just get lost in it. Sometimes I think I escape into spiritual matters because I cannot deal with the things I see in the world. And that's supposed to be a good thing right? Until you find yourself walking into an abyss that you sort of don't understand. I remember one of the things I was told that when God pulls you out into the deep, you start to not see things and everything gets very dark.
People have referred to this experience as the dark night of the soul. I think I have my moments in this place. Today, was one of those times where I couldn't completely see and felt the weight of circumstances on me. But I stepped out in faith and went to a prayer gathering this morning by myself. I had already been planning to go The Feast because of the series they were having on Restoration. This morning's talk was about restoring your relationship with yourself and I was blessed.
I wish I can describe what happened a little bit more but right now all I can muster is embedding a Youtube song by Casting Crowns entitled Somewhere in The Middle.