Discovering Katherine Mansfield

I've been forcing it.  Trying to pry myself open.  After a long week of creative hibernation.  I needed to keep the sensitive capability to draw out meaning from every moment at bay.  For emotions and sensations in the middle of the political workplace are too sharp to lay my thoughts on.  They pierce.  What's more is that they remain unabsolved of a possible redemption.  

I had a long discussion with Dad about the difficulties of making decisions.  I told him about what I faced at work and I saw in his face a contorted look of disbelief.  So he shook his head and told me to make people attend the trainings they needed so they will learn because it will be too hard to do it on my own.

It's all easier said than done.  I circle in this story of a family organizational saga.  Much similar to the saga of the school my grandparents left behind.  Only now do I understand how difficult it has been.  

So I keep prying myself open.  Searching for anything that will let me release all my thoughts or at least have them identify to something.  Something I need.  Something I want.  And I find Katherine Mansfield in one of my blog subscriptions.  A collection of her quotations about the volumes of letters she's written in her day.  I love diaries especially of writers.  How they write about their creative process is something that is always mystical to me.  I chewed on her words like food.  And it's settled me into a more quiet rhythm.  That which can absorb again the details of life like the noonday sun that's angrily shining in through the windows.  It's 34 degrees (celsius) outside and I don't know how long the weather will be this way.  They've forecasted a rainy week and I am really hoping for it to be so.  

Katherine Mansfield's House

“Why is it we so love the strong emotions? I think because they give us such a keen sense of Life—a violent belief in our Existence. One thing I cannot bear and that is the mediocre—I like always to have a great grip of Life, so that I intensify the so-called small things—so that truly everything is significant.” 
- Katherine Mansfield


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