Gratitude and Birthdays
I didn't take pictures of last night. The laughs. The jokes. The hi-fives. The colorful drinks. It has been quite a while since I just let myself enjoy the moment and really appreciate the company of friends. The past few months have been loaded as I have written in the last few posts. But last night, gave me something most unexpected. Last night, I felt my birthday.
And feeling my birthday, means feeling grateful.
I am grateful that I am alive and that I have been able to hurdle a lot of challenges that could have brought me down in an instant. I am grateful that I am able to find my place despite the unstructured environment at work. I am grateful that I know who I can be myself with even though I continue to not be so sure of who I am. I am grateful that I have bridged gaps in my family and other relationships. I am grateful that I have the strength to help others even when I am not always good at it.
I am grateful that I can write even if the strings of words come out like a torrent of jumbled up thoughts. I am grateful that there are people who continue to inspire me to write and remain authentic to my true nature. I am grateful that there are people who pray for me and believe in me. I am grateful that there are people I can dream with. I am grateful that even if my life runs through crooked lines, God always makes it straight.
I marvel at how only a few hours of laughter and genuine togetherness can make up for 9 hours of heavy pondering on work issues.
I want to be able to keep on living and writing and believing. Hopefully when I stand before Peter's gates, I can peacefully say, "I've loved."