Gratitude and Birthdays

I didn't take pictures of last night.  The laughs.  The jokes.  The hi-fives.  The colorful drinks.  It has been quite a while since I just let myself enjoy the moment and really appreciate the company of friends.  The past few months have been loaded as I have written in the last few posts.  But last night, gave me something most unexpected.  Last night, I felt my birthday.  

And feeling my birthday, means feeling grateful.  

I am grateful that I am alive and that I have been able to hurdle a lot of challenges that could have brought me down in an instant.  I am grateful that I am able to find my place despite the unstructured environment at work.  I am grateful that I know who I can be myself with even though I continue to not be so sure of who I am.  I am grateful that I have bridged gaps in my family and other relationships.  I am grateful that I have the strength to help others even when I am not always good at it. 

I am grateful that I can write even if the strings of words come out like a torrent of jumbled up thoughts.  I am grateful that there are people who continue to inspire me to write and remain authentic to my true nature.  I am grateful that there are people who pray for me and believe in me.  I am grateful that there are people I can dream with.  I am grateful that even if my life runs through crooked lines, God always makes it straight.  

I marvel at how only a few hours of laughter and genuine togetherness can make up for 9 hours of heavy  pondering on work issues.  

I want to be able to keep on living and writing and believing.  Hopefully when I stand before Peter's gates, I can peacefully say, "I've loved." 

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