Worthwhile Moments and My Dog Bailey

I've been writing mostly in my journal these past week or so because I have not had the time to get my thoughts organized enough to write in public.  Again.  It seems to be a cycle with me.  The rhythm of pulling myself together makes me withdraw into the shadows especially when I am trying to do a lot of things all at once.   Right now, work has taken first place.  It's not such a bad thing.  I'm actually doing something new and interesting but it's not that easy to pull everything together when expectations are not that clear and you don't really know where everything is headed.  I'm learning how to take uncertainty for what it is.  

My dog Bailey died the other day.  I haven't really allowed myself to look at this circumstance in the face.  But when I tried to look through his pictures there was definitely an ache.  I've never been so close to a pet as I have been with Bailey.  His company felt so real.  Almost human.  His eyes were the most expressive ones I've ever seen.  I feel really bad that throughout the last years of his life I was not there for him.  This makes me think about how life gets really cluttered when you're trying to achieve something.  And it reminds me that it's not worth the effort if your time is always overtaken with the busy-ness that robs you off the little joys that make life worthwhile.  

bailey and i taken 6 years ago.

a thoughtful expression on his face.


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