Caught in Between Decisions

Almost everyday I think about how I can live my life steadfastly anchored to the Faith.  Most of the time I am challenged by circumstances that force me to run counter to the values I try to practice especially in the area of business.  The past 2 years have taught me that leadership decisions are really made from a set of belief systems accumulated through experiences of learning and adapting in environments.  It becomes such a heavy weight to think about especially when you sit at the board room table talking about how to grow and make more money or how to fire someone in the most amicable way possible.  Since it becomes so heavy, you begin to suspend your thoughts from its influence and take on a mindset that adapts to the mindset of those around so that you can find yourself weaving perspectives that you can live with.  Like making excuses for somebody's misbehavior because they're in a bad mood, you find yourself making excuses for some circumstances that no longer make sense because of a pattern of decision making that does not bend to common reason.

It's often never explained well.  These decisions that happen.  Unless you find yourself in the inner circle of leaders and know what is in their hearts, you are bound to never understand why decisions are made.

I'm currently in that place right now and while I try to be positive about it everytime the weekend hits I find myself musing about these things that quietly nag at the center of my gut asking me: so what are you going to do about it?

Yesterday, I watched 2 hours of Lincoln Lawyer.  Matthew McConaughy played the role of having to do a balancing act with defending a guilty man as innocent at the same time maneuvering his real intent to put this man through justice by convicting him through another lawyer's investigation.  He had to beat the system by playing the justice system's game and that was because he couldn't live with himself for a moral issue in his hands.  

I feel a little bit like him.  And it's slowly taking its toll.  Although I'm not really in a situation that you can downright say is a messed up plot but the pressure of having to get myself out of the knot of unfounded decisions is great or else I'll be set up as the one who played the wrong pawn.  

How does someone like me bring back values into the decision making process and help leaders remain cognizant of their social responsibility and not just their business accountability?  

I don't know.  All I can say is I need a lot of prayers and a lot of heart.


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