This is a Vent

I was trying to keep myself from writing about today because I'm not sure I'll be able to say anything great  about today.  But this blog is about being able to unearth the most honest of emotions so that I can process them raw and find myself making sense of its meaning through the words I carve out of thoughts.  So here goes.

I am very disappointed at how some people at work think they're being supportive when they do not even have a clue about what is really going on and if what they are doing really supports you.  Today I had to deal with trifle matters that felt irrelevant because it had no impact on how things can be improved on.  I had to deal with people who would not give me feedback and leave emails un-replied because they choose to disregard how I've been following up incessantly to the point of probably being bothersome.  I think it's rather rude how people do not respond at all especially when things are important to you.  Sure, it might not be important to them but how can courtesy just be displaced like that?  

I found myself quite paralyzed by these thoughts.  I could not fully react and found myself stifled by the mere non-reaction of those people who I was waiting feedback from.  Why does it trouble me so?  Why is it important to me that I get this feedback?  

I have no control over others' reactions, that much I have accepted.  I cannot change the way they respond and if how they respond is what causes me frustration, I need to keep learning how to respond differently so that I do not get stuck in this cycle.  It's exhausting.  

I pray that I find the peace I need tonight to get through another day of facing people who I know will not respond to me the way I expect them to respond.  I pray that I will see through their personalities and know that there is a much bigger purpose than achieving a day's worth of corporate toil.  

On the brighter side, I just got myself a digital subscription to the Paris Review.  I love the cover.  


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