One of These Days



My thoughts have been locked up in my mind since Saturday.  I haven't been able to access them for some reason.  They come out in jumbled forms of feelings and glimpses of words that long to be said.  I wonder why I experience these moments of pondering the trail of ellipses after the last letter has been written.  

It's a constant challenge for me.  Keeping up with the writing rhythm and my daily routine.  Goes to show that I haven't fully been able to embrace this craft as well integrated into my life.  This saddens me.  I wonder if I'll ever be able to write to my heart's content at all.  Not to mention wondering if I'll ever be able to read to my heart's content too.  

The more I make myself available to the work, the more it takes me captive.  And there's not stopping it.  It ravages my day like a criminal stealing all the precious meaningful time I could use to create more purpose into each situation.  But like I told myself the past month, the circumstances will not change.  It's my heart that will.  It's my heart that should.  It's my heart that can.  

The last 2 days of this week is packed.  No, this week has been packed.  Two 5 hour meetings began with Monday and Tuesday.  Two meetings filled up my Wednesday back to back in the morning and the afternoon.  The same is true for today and the same for tomorrow.  I'm just telling myself that one of these days, things will settle down and I won't have to meet constantly with people.  One of these days, these people will learn for themselves and I won't have to keep prodding them to move forward.  One of these days, they will move on their own.  And when they do, I'll finally be able to move the way I want to.

One of these days.

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