The Call To Live Awake (Day 3)
Distractions are the common man's band aid to the small things that affect life. I have many. But for the past few weeks God has stripped me off my distractions to focus my attention to certain things. Sometimes I complain because I feel deprived of the more pleasant things that I see other people experience. I grumble at how other people can be insensitive to my difficulties and play deaf to my pleas for help.
This particular season of my life has forced me to take a good look at what I value in myself and other people. And I've realized how I can count with my hands what I really value the most. I value truthfulness and authenticity. I value deep conversations. I value learning and reflecting. I value meaningful companionship. I value honouring good memories. I value true loyalty. I value faithfulness. When you're being stripped away off everything that you thought was valuable to you, you begin to realize that what you thought was valuable in your life wasn't and what you thought wasn't valuable actually is. When you're down to nothing after you have given everything away you begin to understand that only a few people will completely receive who you are and the kind of person you really desire to become. Only a few people will stand by you to walk with you closely and help you patiently hurdle every challenge and rejoice with your small wins. You begin to see the people who are not there for the long haul and the people who are only there for the merry making and casual pleasantries.
God shakes your life to sift your life. It isn't the first time I've gone through this but I suppose it is the first time I've really taken the time to listen to what He is telling me. It's the first time I'm letting myself fully pay attention and courageously let myself be undistracted so that I can truly let Him work on me.
There are many moments when I would rather shut myself down and go indifferent to His voice. Many are the moments when I would rather play deaf and turn on the music and dance the night away. Oh I remember those days when I thought indifference and drunkenness will make me the tougher woman. I was wrong. Emotional distractions do not toughen you up. They weaken your ability to be sensitive to His proddings leading you to a more lasting solace and pervading peace.
When I find things unbearable to endure I am grateful for the handful of people who God surrounds me with. Angels who encourage me to fight the good fight of faith. Helping me make decisions leading towards the eternal and not the temporal. Leading towards true peace and happiness than a make shift substitute.
Living awake means knowing what makes the real difference in your life and choosing to move towards it one step at a time.