Getting Back into Kingdom Building

Life stories have been coming very slow as of late.  This week was filled with many unexpected things.  It all started when I said yes to playing as a keyboardist for our church's Youth Ministry again.  The rhythm started to change I was flooded with work as well as church work.  This is a very significant thing in my life as I continue to strike balance between the secular and the sacred.  I realized that being absent from kingdom work has imbalanced me greatly but at the same time has been mortification for the self-focused motivations of a weak youth minister such as myself.  

Saying yes to that prodding this year has probably been the most terrifying things I've ever done but at the same time it has been one of the liberating ones.  It's renewed my definition of who I really am which I am slowly and painfully accepting.  But as I cut away the excess fat of my personality I am beginning to seek a clearer understanding of who I am in God's life.

I'm not coherent right now and though the desire to write is still very much present, the time for it is very absent.  I am still learning to calibrate everything into a more comfortable flowing rhythm that will help me get a little bit more integrated.  It's a frustrating journey.  And it frustrates a lot of people around me.  But this is a journey I have accepted and I want to keep accepting if I have to keep moving forward.

So moving forward I must.  I need to do some errands outside the office today and then head off to church for more kingdom building.