i write to believe.

Today is the memorial of St. John of the Cross .  I've started reading about him and his well known work "Dark Night of the Soul" in 2005 after experiencing my own fragments of the night from a series of broken relationships.   It was then when I went on an extreme search for truth that I only began to find in the realities of everyday suffering.  When I say suffering it doesn't mean blood and gore.  That "everyday suffering" of having to bear the discomfort of your inability to withstand certain things like: another person's noise, like the traffic in the highway, like the irritating countenance of a family member, like the work day that passed without fulfillment.   It was through him that I realized how "suffering" is not actually some kind of "punishment"  that belittles us or renders us unworthy of something better.  This "suffering" that the "dark night" makes us go through is something that makes us ...

I find some time to reflect on spiritual things this morning after struggling with a lot of anxieties the past few weeks.  It flows on and off.  The spiritual enlightenment of being in the rapture of the heavenly hosts for a brief moment while you're driving to work in the morning becomes the most longed for moment in my life.   I haven't been able to get a lot of it and still I continue to sort myself out.  It's a very messy process but I write today in response to a blog that I just came across this morning .  Kirby Llaban is a lay missionary for Couples for Christ and he wrote something yesterday that struck me straight away.   He said: Do you have a big idea? How long then will it take you to make a prototype or organize a sample group? Do you plan on writing a book? When will you start making the first chapter of that book and let your friends give a feedback? Do you want to write a song? Then write down the first line and hum the first...

I've read about the dark night of the soul more than 5 years ago.  I've also agreed that I've gone through this phase in spiritual life.  I just didn't think that it could go on this long. Here's to more surrendering.