i write to believe.

I got this little book from my grandmother's library last Christmas.  She has a lot of these.   When she passed away, I asked my Mom if I can take some.  This was one of the books I got (amongst others).  I love the old leather binding.  The typeface and her cursive script.  I love old things and their meaning and I love how I remember all these things on a Sunday.   I read chapter 1 again to myself.  Out loud.  Softly.  Imagining if St. Thomas were to read this to me, how would his voice sound?  Would I be changed in an instant?  Would I embrace the truth he provokes me to believe?   The road that stretches before the feet of a man is a challenge to his heart long before it tests the strength of his legs.  Our destiny is to run to the edge of the world and beyond, off into the darkness: sure for all our blindness, secure for all our helplessness, strong for all our weakness, gaily in love for all the pres...

wrapping words and finding phrases somewhere inside my room I never thought I'd reach the 1,001 reader mark in just about 3 months.  I was telling myself that I should not even look at this counter because it is not a measure of progress but of course, I can't help it.  Anything that measure any kind of progress should be affirming right?   I'm not sure about those who flip through my pages but I hope those who drop by here find a little bit of breathing space in one way or another.   So thank you dear readers, for visiting me and making this journey worthwhile.  I find it encouraging that anybody out there would even want to read these words.  It tells me that all is not lost.  That there is a purpose.  That life moves on.  That heaven watches and grace is enough. I'm sitting at my desk and just finished a report for a 3 hour meeting tomorrow.  I want to be able to write about some of my discoveries at work as of late.  Pe...

Ideas for writing surfaces during nightmorn after quite a few restless moments yesterday. Bombarded by busy-ness and work issues I had to put this on hold for a bit. But I'm glad it has surfaced in my conversation with Adi this morning. adrienne: just keep the process organic. ORGANIC. me: i'll take note of that in my journal me: how do you keep a process ORGANIC adrienne: like just feel your way through it. dont try to analyze write down anything that surfaces in your head if it surfaces, it means something and just keep praying for the play/story to stay with you and ask you to write it. I was telling her about how difficult it is for me hold on to a thought I want to write about especially when I get busy or feel anxious or experience a strain in a relationship. Yesterday I was jotting down my thoughts on my journal and realized how much I think about a lot of things. I wasn't sure if I was being coherent at all as I let the words just declutter themselves on pape...

A pleasant surprise from visitors this Sunday morning fills our family room with cozy conversations and hopeful refrains. The darkness of yesterday seems to have lifted and connecting with family from Cebu strengthens the resolve to lift up our gaze again. I’ve resolved to stop looking at the diagnosis on Mom’s table or try to understand the medical terms that always sound scary in every way. And just focus on the hope that is present no matter how hidden in every moment. My rhythm fell out of beat and I’ve pondered all night as to its cause. It cannot be determined and I am reminded by a priest who told me once, “We forget that life is a mystery and we get frustrated when we cannot understand. Sometimes we are not meant to understand everything. That’s why we Catholics call our walk, a walk of faith.” Reading 2 chapters of Traveling With Pomegranates by Sue Monk Kidd has allowed me to reconnect with something essential to my journey right now. The bond of mother and daughter. ...