i write to believe.

Today I have a guest on the blog.   She is one of the members of the Youth Group I serve in and I am quite honored to have her write here today because I am so humbled by her example.  One of the things I'm learning as I keep up with this blog is to find things to write about and it hasn't exactly been easy while I'm juggling between my work and other things.   So before the year comes to close, it seems that God is giving this blog a new purpose.   I am no longer writing to believe just for myself but He gives me this place to show that there are others, young people to be exact, who write just as much so that they can also believe that their dreams can come true.  Today the writing-believer is Andrea Zubiri.   Her story charms my morning and I'm hoping to share more about her in the coming days.   I have 3 major goals in my life. The first major one is to spread as much awareness about students with learning challenges and or...

Eight of them sat in the round table with heads bowed.  We prayed for a good dialogue, an open heart and a willing spirit.   When you witness young people called to serve in a ministry to help bring young people to God, you ask yourself only one question.  Am I really equipped to help these people draw closer to God?  There are actually 9 of us but one was still at work so only eight came and they were all there seated with their heads bowed in prayer.  And I prayed earnestly for a spirit of surrender. When you're serving part-time in a youth ministry it becomes a great challenge to learn how to balance all other areas of your life.  I listened to the young ministers speak of their challenges and I realized that we are not giving enough support to young ministry leaders when it comes to helping them learn how to sort out their time given all the activities they have to do in school, their family and church work.  For the first time,...

She ran out of the prayer gathering and  heaved back a sob.  The room was dark and she thought that no one would notice.  I felt the weight she carried on her shoulders and lowered my raised hands.  While deep into the prayer I was stirred.   When a young heart breaks I can hear it.  I walked out quietly and unnoticed.  Just like she did.  I wandered out into the parking lot of the empty church and tried to look for her on the empty benches of the courtyard.  She wasn't there.   I could hear her silent weeping.  Muffled cries she didn't want anybody to hear.  I went back inside the hall and asked a friend to join me to look for her.  We found her in the empty pews of the darkened chapel.  She sat near the tabernacle as if wanting to just be near her Savior's feet.   I tapped her shoulder and whispered to ask if she was okay.  She smiled shy and quiet.  I sat beside her and asked ag...

The Youth Encounter Weekend just ended today and I am quite hesitant to go back to the workplace and leave the wonderful experience of solely focusing on the one thing I love doing the most.  Youth Ministry.  On the drive back home a couple of us have been talking about full time youth ministry and how we can make it happen in this apostolate's generation.  For some of us this has already been a long time vision.  But it remains a dream.  So tonight, I find myself lifting up this dream and hoping for God to bless it and be the Maker I need Him to be. This is an excerpt of a post I wrote in my old blog.  It was written on October 4, 2005 after the 3rd Youth Encounter (the first one I served in).   Given that my writing has been cooperating with me lately, I reminisce about what I wrote back then and find myself feeling the same things tonight.  It's been 7 years.  I cannot believe that it has been that long and yet the wonderful bles...

I move in silently into this day and look through the things I wrote from yesterday.  I started a page with fellow youth ministers eager to ponder about this relentless call to reach out to the young.  To change and be changed.   Yesterday I wrote about my conversations with them .  This introspection has been 6 years in the making.  I've finally decided to cast my net out into the sea, in faith. Unlike my occupation, I am quite passionate about youth ministry.  It's something I can probably talk about for hours.  Most people would probably look at it as some kind of glorified way to chaperone young people and herd them into a place where they will not cause any trouble.  But, I don't think about it this way.  There's more to ministering than "chaperoning".   Yesterday's talk reminded me about how faith can make our hearts soar and believe the impossible.  It can make us deepen our hope.   I pondered upon the word...

I stumbled upon the tumblr of Youth Catechism this morning via a Tweet that surfaced on my feed.  I love the fact that the church is working on being more in touch with the young people of today.  Speaking their language.  Learning their culture.   Suddenly, all the busy days at work are no comparison to the fulfillment of a youth ministry that is alive with a purpose.  I hope I find that today.

The past few weeks have been really busy.  I cannot even begin to describe how busy it has been.  But I am also glad that even though it has been really busy I feel that I've been making some kind of progress.  Things feel like they are moving forward at work.  I was also able to get a some kind of breather and tapped into my creative side during Adi's visit.   Now that one was a pleasant surprise.  It was only then that I felt things managed to put themselves back into order.  It's funny how people in my life become guideposts and become like anchors that bring me back to my center especially when a lot of things are in disarray.   Adi's become like that anchor.  She reminds me of my deepest desires.  To live a life filled with creativity and authenticity.  One that always seeks beauty in all things.  One that breathes all moments in.  One that savors all good conversations.  One that cradles every meaningful m...

I love this picture.  For some reason this is the only picture that I think I was really happy after I took it with my phone.  I love the colors and the pieces of paper that have gratitude written on them.  I took this at Walkway 2011.  It's a modern day Stations of the Cross set up by a non-denominational church.  I like how they made everything easier to relate to.  Closer to home.  If it weren't so much for the summer heat, I'd probably linger a little bit longer.  But I'm glad I went there today with some of the Youth friends. I have to admit that I've been really off since I came back from the Encounter Weekend.  I'm a little bit troubled by the frenzy that has kicked in which sometimes I feel masks as spiritual high amongst the young people.  I suppose it's always the youth minister's dilemma to remain prudent with discipline and to make sure they stay in truth's path.  It's not easy.  The past few days have been challe...

For this reason, dear friends, I encourage you to strengthen your faith in God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. You are the future of society and of the Church! As the Apostle Paul wrote to the Christians of Colossae, it is vital to have roots, a solid foundation! This is particularly true today. Many people have no stable points of reference on which to build their lives, and so they end up deeply insecure. There is a growing mentality of relativism, which holds that everything is equally valid, that truth and absolute points of reference do not exist. But this way of thinking does not lead to true freedom, but rather to instability, confusion and blind conformity to the fads of the moment. As young people, you are entitled to receive from previous generations solid points of reference to help you to make choices and on which to build your lives: like a young plant which needs solid support until it can sink deep roots and become a sturdy tree capable of bearing fruit.  Pope...

It's taken a while for me to unearth what's really been going on in my mind these past few days.  So I have taken a vacation leave from work for the next few days because so many things need to be sorted out alongside the fact that I need to prepare for the encounter weekend that's upcoming.   Finally, I get my piece of silence.  And for most of the morning I've been pondering upon the prayers that I experienced during last night's worship after youth praise practice.  The journey to the encounter weekend has been such an eye-opener.  Restoring for me the old truths that I anchored myself on during times of crisis and difficulty.  Allowing me to realize again that when the Spirit moves in the hungry hearts of the faithful, minds are enlightened and unified once again. It's funny.  Sometimes I wish my work place understood the movements of the Spirit so that pressures and politics will be easier to handle.  I don't know what I would do if I didn'...

Another weekend's passed and I feel that I've covered so many things from a strategic planning session, to a Christian service teaching, to an apostolate fundraising brainstorming session.  The weekend was indeed full and I have to admit that by the time Saturday night ended, I was so tired that I fell asleep as soon as I hit the sack. But I have to say that I feel grateful for quite a lot of things because I never thought I could even go that far in my capacity to serve and help out a ministry that's struggling to get back up on its feet.  The words of today's readings echo in my heart and is suddenly starting to permeate my work-cluttered mind.   It's quite an affirmation because these were the same words that were whispered in prayer to my ear last Saturday by a dear counselor friend of mine.  It was uplifting and I'll echo them here on this page as Isaiah 65:17 says "The Lord says, 'I am making a new earth and new heavens.  The events of the past ...

I haven't written in days.  The words are all stuck up there somewhere.  In between memories and cluttered thoughts.  The last I wrote was 8 days ago and it feels like so much has happened since.  I don't know why it is so necessary to chronicle every moment or feeling.  Like laughing in the middle of praying or the heaving sobs I released during last weekend's retreat.  Like the queasiness of my stomach awaiting responses to questions posted about the faith or the agony of the journey towards healing.   So much has happened and I haven't begun absorbing it all.   But this much I know, I have felt the calling to serve the Church once again.  I've realized a lot of things while sitting through the 2 day weekend retreat meant to rejuvenate the spirits of community members and save them from falling out or further alienation.  I remember all the moments I've felt alienated in community.  And it was comforting to know that I wasn't th...

The past few days have been quite exciting for me as I realized there are so many inquisitive young minds hungrily searching for truth.   Early this week my friend Martin and I decided to start a Facebook group called "Why Church...Add some Salt!" It's supposed to be a forum for young people who wanted to pose questions but never had the guts to ask them.  We've reached about 35 questions in 48 hours and over 600 comments.  Traffic has died down now but re-reading through the threads have filled me with so much enlightenment and vigor.   The answers aren't really the priority right now.  But I think what makes the activity meaningful is the fact that people are coming together in an honest way through a modern medium to seek truth together . Here are some of my favorite questions and insights from young people. If I loved someone through the overflowing love of the Lord, why does He allow the person to hurt me in the end? Why should I stay Catholic? ...

Yesterday I was blessed to spend the entire day with the youth. From ministry meetings to hanging out late into the night and talking about the longing to revive the fire in the apostolate. It hasn't been easy for me to come back and take this road again. There were some doubts and fears. But God finds a way to to knit the hearts of His beloved people together. Especially those who fall on their knees in contriteness admitting their vulnerability before all. I always thought that I was only watching from the sidelines. Never quite new my place. Afraid that I am too old enough or too complex to resonate or truly connect with anyone. But there is something about this Apostolate that I've noticed whenever crisis hits it or shakes its very foundation. Love always raises it up. Last night we talked about this love. And how we realize that everybody who is in this apostolate, loves the Youth in so many different ways. We also realized that so many people need the kind of love that ...

Not another template design.  Restlessness is a sign of a noisy interior.  I am restless today.  I spent so much time looking through a report I will be presenting tomorrow during a 6 hour meeting.  My fingers almost feel numb with all the typing and wrist movement.  But I am grateful for this few moments of breathing space.  With whatever words I can unearth just to de-clutter.   There is actually a rhythm I am learning to appreciate.  My work load is piling up but there seems to be something significant even in the small outcomes.  I realize that people issues are so prevalent and people need help in most of their interactions just so their work life becomes more meaningful and achieve a semblance of peace.  Peace is so scarce in the work place.  I am saddened by it.  I wish most of the technicalities can just be done away with so I can focus more on helping the environment unearth the peace that is mostly hungered by those ...

I know it's quite lame but I started deciding to come out of hiding and get back into kingdom building because of a Facebook post from the Message from God app.  On my late grandfather's birthday I found this one on my wall. It's true.  I have been hiding for quite some time.  Pained by conflicts in ministry life, I did not expect that serving God would entail a lot of confusion, frustration, loneliness, condemnation.  I was disillusioned by the joy that is experienced in a worship gathering and the struggle that is experienced behind the scenes.  I keep saying this because I don't think I've said it enough, "Ministering is easier said than done. Whoever claims to have gotten it figured out is missing the point."   So for the past 3 years, I quit something that I really loved doing.  Being a Youth Minister gave me so much meaning and purpose.  It showed me creative paths I never thought I could walk on.  It opened up for me a world that h...

Life stories have been coming very slow as of late.  This week was filled with many unexpected things.  It all started when I said yes to playing as a keyboardist for our church's Youth Ministry again.  The rhythm started to change I was flooded with work as well as church work.   This is a very significant thing in my life as I continue to strike balance between the secular and the sacred.  I realized that being absent from kingdom work has imbalanced me greatly but at the same time has been mortification for the self-focused motivations of a weak youth minister such as myself.   Saying yes to that prodding this year has probably been the most terrifying things I've ever done but at the same time it has been one of the liberating ones.  It's renewed my definition of who I really am which I am slowly and painfully accepting.  But as I cut away the excess fat of my personality I am beginning to seek a clearer understanding of who I am in God's li...